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Health & Fitness

Dating 411

Dating tips and tricks... first dates how to's and not to's.

With many single moms and dads in the world, you all need to know it is OK to date again. A little "you" time and companionship helps make the world go round. Here are a few tips and tricks on how to date and where to find somebody to date.

Never date a co-worker. In this economy, jobs are hard to come by. Do not jeopardize your workplace by making it awkward. Friends and co-workers are a great resource. Everybody knows somebody single. Ask around, don't be shy. Many single parents seek out online dating opportunities, this method can be successful. However, you have to be street-smart.

When you plan a date or to meet somebody you meet online, ask a few girl pals or guy friends to meet you at the same location you planned your date for. Perfect opportunity for a "wingman". You can catch up over a cocktail or cup of coffee prior to your date and after your date. This will give you a great support team to get you through the awkwardness of a first meeting, and help you know you are safe in case you get a bad vibe from the person you are meeting.

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Always have first dates in a public open environment such as a club, restaurant or coffee house. Never in a secluded location, where if you scream for help nobody will hear you. Always follow your first instincts: if you get a bad vibe, run for the hills....do not stick around and wait to see if your feeling is right or not.

Use a reputable online site that has been around a long time, as most of these sites appeared around the mid-90's.

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Do not tell the kids. Sometimes little white lies to protect them is OK, if used wisely. Mommy (or Daddy) is going to meet a friend for dinner tonight, is all they need to know. The age-old question of when to meet the kids is another difficult topic. I say once you get the... "this is getting serious" vibe...no less than six months into a relationship. Kids get attached easily and they are your number-one priority. If they went through a divorce, (which all children survive it and are OK in time,) you do not want to push the envelope and put them through a break-up. That is just unnecessary. Any person worthy of you and your childrens' affection will understand the meeting of the kids, takes time and is a slow but important process.

Keep the conversation light. Here are a list of things to never discuss on the first few dates, especially the first:

Your exes - Never open the ex files until the relationship becomes tagged serious.

Your past online or dating experiences - Bad situations you may have had may not sound that bad to someone else such as, you did not like your date's hair. You may without realizing it put out the wrong impression of yourself. Think before you speak. If you both start sounding off about past dates or relationships the conversation gets further and further away from getting to know one another, but you will have a great knowledge of his ex-girlfriend Samantha.

Money - Never discuss your extreme fortune or your pile of debt. Wait to discuss any type of cash flow once you determine how someone really feels about your personality and you as a whole. Finance talk can lead to judgment of another person before you know them.

Health issues - Never mention your bunions on your feet or the traumatic surgery you had six months ago. Keep your aches and pains to yourself for the long-term, until you find that significant other to share much of your time with.

Pets - Wait to see if someone is pet-friendly first, before you come off as the whacko who dresses a chowdoodle in a rhinestone sweater.

Religion - Over-sharing too soon can scare someone away.  Do not worry, he may be the perfect guy or gal with a different faith than you. But, let's curb that and find out at a later time. Wait a few dates.

Politics - Very diverse topic with a lot of opinions; you do not want to get into a debate halfway out of the gate.

Business - Be careful of creating a business deal and not a romantic one.

Kids - Don't make your date feel left out before they're in. Keep the kid conversation to a minimum.

Criticism - Do not comment on the waiter's bold tie choice or the crazy outfit of the woman at the next table.

Spend the time getting to know each other and do not make the conversation a sound-off of questions and interrogation. Keep it light and fun. Where did you grow up? What did you like about it? Favorite foods? Things to do? The first few dates are to determine if the two of you are compatible and have similar interests and good conversation; keep the topics of conversation on that road.

Good conversation will lead to more dates and a better opportunity of getting to know all the tricky questions over time. Do not speed-date Relax and enjoy.

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